How to Make Me Irate

Very rarely do I get upset. Just like Ben's post said way back when, it takes a whole lot to make me angry. Well somehow the Department of State has figured out how to really tick me off. A couple months ago when we decided that our trip to the Cayman Islands was official I debated on whether or not to get a new passport. It just would have seemed easier to get the tickets in my maiden name since Ben and I don't travel out of the country very often. After debating for a while I decided to go ahead and mail in my passport for renewal. I wasn't excited about the $67 fee plus $10 for pictures and giving up my passport with stamps from Europe and the Caribbean, but the trade off was going to be a sweet trip to Cayman. I mailed in my passport with 10 weeks until departure because this is what I was told: "You should receive your passport within 10 weeks from the date you applied. However, if you are traveling within 2 weeks and have not received your passport, please contact the National Passport Information Center."

Weeks passed by and when I checked online it said that my passport was being processed. I finally decided to call 2 weeks ago to really see where my passport was. "They're working on it Ma'am" was the only thing they'd tell me. Finally I called in last week since I was leaving within 2 weeks and they told me that they would expedite my passport. Phew! Still the guy I talked to told me to call in every couple of days to check the status. Every time I called I would be put on hold for 15 minutes only to FINALLY be told in less than 30 seconds that my application was being worked on and that they knew it was expedited for my close approaching departure.

I let a couple days go by without calling, but this morning I thought maybe I'd call again. Once again I was on hold for 15 minutes and Joe Shmoe picks up on the other line and tries to be all friendly. I tried to reciprocate, but all I really wanted to know was where is my passport? After typing in my information the conversation basically went as follows:

Joe: "Has any of the other agents you've spoken with ever told you that you may need to go to DC to pick up a passport?"

Me: "Uh, no?!"

Joe: "Well your passport is in New Hampshire, and even though it's expedited I don't think you'll be getting it before your departure date."

Me: "What do you mean, what am I supposed to do?"

Joe: "You need to make an appointment with the Passport Agency in DC and bring in your information to get a passport. When you give them your application number they'll see that you have already applied for a passport and they should wave the fees."

Me: "So I have to take new pictures and they MAY wave the fees? Well I don't have a birth certificate or marriage license or passport because they had me mail ALL of that in when I sent in my application!"

I'll spare the details of the whole conversation, but basically the man had no idea where my passport was, and wasn't really willing to call New Hampshire's office to see when it would get approved and sent to me. So my only option is to make a trip to the local CVS to take new pictures and drive over 120 miles to apply in person. "Amanda, I really want to see you make this vacation, so Plan B is all I can offer you." Um, I'm sorry, we're not friends and you don't know me and you probably could care less whether or not I make it to Cayman Islands.

The whole thing ended with him telling me that I can call back at 3:00 and maybe by then someone will know where my passport is. Yippee. I can't wait. Until then, maybe I'll look up tips on Wikipedia on how to really rip someone a new one.